watcha lookin @? hehe..

I ALMOST forgot that I had a briefing regarding working as a SN over @ SGH until Ms Kee msged me late Fri night to tell me that I had to come.. sheesh

So I begrudgingly went to SGH early Sat morning.. and den.. CT was late.. coz u know it was raining bla bla bla.. den I was waiting for her to tell me to board over at JE wen I realised.. Pit was there.. So I acknowledge his presence, and he was realli surprised... the qn he asked me was: MANA NK GI PAGI2? haha.. trust me.. I juz loved it. Its so stupid.. coz there we were smacked on the platform.. and he was asking me silly qns.

I guess it was a gd start to the day wen uve had a gd laugh. So yeah.. morning2 the talks began.. and they kept on mentioning how much they appreciated that we've made the effort to attnd that "short" thingy coz they knew how precious bla bla bla Sat is. It finally ended after all those talks abt benefits, career paths.. xpectations n relatively us being stressed at the end of it.

After the whole thingy ended and we finally ammended our choices.. I had lunch.. and went out for a while.. I cant blieve I saw Fizah over in town.. as usual.. she was loud.. and I had to be loud to be audible to her (and unfortunately all passer-bys.. tsk tsk) So aniwae, she cut her hair.. and she looked nicer i suppose. And den she was saying she quit CLUBBING.. and I was like YEAH RIGHT... but aniwae.. we intended to go clubbing.. so Im kinda thinking of Wednesday night, Zouk. It'll be happening I spose. [mambo nite]

Den I made my way home and packed my things.. went over to my grandma's hse. OVer thr my grandaunt picked us up & we stayed over her hse @ JB for a night. My dad was too tired to send us aniwhr so we went out the xtended family on Sunday, 2 cars..

It was a 2 hr drive frm Kampung melayu pandan to Tangkak (I can see some of your mouths gaping wide..) and as usual.. I kept on sleeping den waking up to pee or buy food.. hahaha..

So over @ Tangkak, my grandma had wanted to find curtains.. and me & my youngest aunt went in search of clothes to mk into traditional dresses. I didnt even intend 2 buy 1.. but.. as usual, women being women...

So I ended up with 4! Those who r blessed will b able to look @ it dis yr I spose. And over @ 1 shop.. 1 of the sales peeps was asking me..
"siapa kawin? Lu kawin ar?"
And I juz smiled. The fact was no 1 was getting married! BUt I guess we were being too elaborate with our shopping..
And she juz went on saying"Wah lu cantik ar.."
hahaha.. and she juz sent me smiling and walking out of e shop. I know.. Im bragging.. hey... a woman complimenting u doesnt come everyday k!=D

I had a gr8 tho v tiring time I guess.. v fun bargaining n shopping n sight seeing. I got to see cows n goats n maze plantations...fun la. and singing at e top of my voice in e car..

My parents generally know wen i slp tho.. haha..coz den it'll b usually v quiet! hahahahahha.. oh gosh. Ok la. Have a gd start to the wk guys!
Miss you loads.

NYP's open hse


Mona's Persandingan.. and from (L) to (R) Mas, Aidah & Me


&... the fake LV scarf I bought... lolx...

Besok weekened.. tapi kene pegi SGH pagi2 buta .. irritatin seh!
Hmm.. Aniwae,the week's relatively gd. Onli had 1 lesson today. Went bcoz i woke up and was bored aniwae if i stayed hm. mmm... have u ever liked felt sth but did another coz u knew what wud happen in e long run?

I think I think too much... maybe not wen it comes to shopping..hehe~ But aniwae.. haiz. Cant believe its all ending so soon. I wanna go to the zoo la.. i wanna go to the beach. I want a holiday. Aniwae.. did i say sum1 said i look pretty today??? hehe.. eh best nye!

hiak hiak hiak. Dan asked me out for a movie over @ lot 1 in the evening.. but lemme rpt myself.. LOT 1???? hehe. Ok. D onli time i ever went to LOT 1 4 a movie was wif James.. coz we dont know wattodo and was so bored..

Oh & btw if u r reading dis & uve have dis feeling im going mad.. im not la.. im juz rather..you know.. ive nothing to say.. or complain abt! haha..

LesseeI bought a big TUB of B&J ice cream. But I onli remembered i bought it wen i opened e freezer today...talk abt severe amnesia. NYP's having a MR& MS SBM pageant.. & all of us was saying they were being overtly discriminative. I mean y cant they have a MR & MS NYP? wat abt SEG/SIT/SD/SHS? y muz it onli b school of biz? NOnsense.

2 more wks in skul.. and i can kiss every1 gdbye. it's so so so sad. I remembered having dis kinda conversation wif harith yonks ago! and now.. instead of post O's.. it's post-diploma.. we keep on leaving pple wif love.. and move on n on..and den..we get so far n realise we r still there aniwae.

You know what I think? I think u may as well click e litte X on the top right hand corner.. trust me.. dis entry... is juz basically me rambling.. no.. wait..hasnt it been that way? DUH!

Call you up in the middle of the night
Like a firefly without a light
You were there like a slow torch burning
I was a key that could use a little turning

So tired that I couldn't even sleep
So many secrets I couldn't keep
Promised myself I wouldn't weep
One more promise I couldn't keep

It seems no one can help me now
I'm in too deep
There's no way out
This time I have really led myself astray

CHORUS
Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here no there

Can you help me remember how to smile
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded
Life's mystery seems so faded

I can go where no one else can go
I know what no one else knows
Here I am just drownin' in the rain
With a ticket for a runaway train

Everything is cut and dry
Day and night, earth and sky
Somehow I just don't believe it

CHORUS

Bought a ticket for a runaway train
Like a madman laughin' at the rain
Little out of touch, little insane
Just easier than dealing with the pain

Runaway train never comin' back
Runaway train tearin' up the track
Runaway train burnin' in my veins
Runaway but it always seems the same

hehe.. I am F-R-E-E... YESSSSS letssayitonemoretime.. oops! DId i say that too fast? Soooryyy guys.. but im juz way relieved my baggage are cleared. My sleepless nights are gone at least till dis weekend or nx wk. Shud start studying for exams real soon.=)

Generally a gd day, tho I woke up late. I reached skul on time for my debate. Became the best speaker for the proposition team, tho the opposition won generally. That felt gd. The presentation @ noon wasnt tat horrible either. It cud b better. But she said she was impressed aniwae. So Im glad.=)

And after that I went shopping. I ate @ coffee club. Den bought a few stuffs. 1 lacey see-through tube, 1 spaghetti top, 1 halter dress. All 3 clubbing clothes. But the prob is I haven danced for ages! reali! I shud practise dancing..And well.. I'd have quit clubbing.. cept. Now CT's saying we shud go doll up & shake our booties..celebrate our achievement (dis is juz an xcuse.. coz im e one who's done.. she's still 1 left tsk tsk)

But I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Tho Im broke as hell. I dont have much to do anithing dis days.. ar well, till den=)

LOVE, Kat.

Is it fair to write a song to a woman?
Is it fair play to try and win her heart?
Is it right to bring her sonnets
In the morning time?
To express the first few
Longings when they start
To express the first few
Longings when they start

Is it right to let her feelings
Rise to catch you?
Is it OK when her heart begins to fall?
Would you blame me if I
Wrap my words around you girl?
Would I wrong you
To say anything at all?
Would I wrong you
To say anything at all?

But if I wrap my words around you
Wrap my words around you
If I wrap my words around you
Would you stay
Would you stay, would you?
Wrap my words around you
Wrap my words around you
If I wrap my words around you
Would you stay
Would it play with your heart?

Am I a hunter if
I send poems to please you?
Am I a cad if
I mean everything I say?
Should I even let you know
This song's about you girl
Just because I want to see you smile today
And my words may bind you
To me much too tightly
You may choke on them if we fall apart
It's not fair to write a song to a woman
Because a woman takes a song into her heart
Because a woman takes a song into her heart

So let me wrap my words around you
Wrap my words around you
Wrap my words around you
Till you stay, till you stay, let me
Wrap my words around you
Wrap my words around you
Darling, wrap my words around you
Till you stay
Would it play with your heart

I dont know... but I found dis song to be so so sad.. and romantic. As what I always here on ria.. boleh tangkap LENTOK! lol.. But seriously, dis is so sweet. They sang with such honesty, it's hard not to like it. Credit to Aiman's blog for featuring dis song.. so nice..

Sesingkat waktu itu aku masih dahagakan sesuatu darimu
Sekilau cinta ragu engkau masih menidakkan perasaan rindumu
Jikalau pelangi enggan bermain wewarnanya
Jikalau mentari enggan berkongsi berbahangnya

*Barulah aku mengaku cinta kita telah musnah
Barulah aku mengaku cinta kita kekal pada

Ditelan kerakusan kenyataan kehidupan
Dipukul kegagahan kepahitannya harapan
Engkaulah lambang cinta karam tragika
Akulah dibahtera cinta tragika

Repeat *

Seteguh lagu merdu aku masih menantikan kenangan yang baru
Sekilau cinta ragu engkau masih menidakkan perasaan Rindumu
Jikalau pelangi enggan bermain wewarnanya
Jikalau mentari enggan berkongsi berbahangnya

Repeat * till the end


It's funnie how I tend to remember memories that have ought to be forgotten long ago.
But thing is how can you actualli forget something that you long to re-live?

Hey this is my ferst time blogging in skul. Personally, I nvr quite liked the lack of privacy here... but hey.. while Im doing my budget plannin & Human resource details.. I might as well talk in here.

2 presentations have been done. And though they were not horribly perfect.. they werent that horrendous either! So im quite relieved. 2morrow is my last 2 presentations... and den I could breathe a bit.

Last night while waiting for Nana to email me the copies of their work, I fell aslp. And the funnie thing was I did that with the lights & Comp on. Talk abt environmental unfriendliness!

Oh & BTW i nvr knew that we were already so highly informative back in sec skul. My research in F&N in sec skul used the GANTT chart. Something I juz realised today.

The past wk has been a total nightmare in hell. I for one have been staying late in skul, having so lack of slp.. and trying to remain sane w/out being charged for manslaughter.
I mean like everyday of the past wk we kept staying back for project meetings and on Friday even though we onli had lectures we still came and stayed till early evening. Im a tired tired person.

So many things to be done & so little time. I dont even have time to look at anything! Still..In fact Im still not feeling too good now.. I'll talk 2 u another time.

I dont know what else to do to my computer.. except reformat and now I havent got the time to do it. So many trojans! still cant clear every1 of dem... tsk tsk. Someone pls help..

Aniwae dis days Ive been too bz. Everyday thr's meetings. Everyday I stay up late.. Everyday.. I have giddiness. Almost blacked out yesterday... the room was spinning when I stood up.. and Im supposed to be a nurse. And nx wk, I have 2 presentations on Monday & another 2 on Wednesday..

Life.. is v weird. I have family chalet dis weekend and yet Im trying to complete my work & not get stressed.. haiz..

Dis days I also wished I was a cabin crew in an airlines.. it seems like so much fun den sitting and discussing abt worldly issues and presenting it to the class.. How I wish I can juz travel e world..

For now, Im bz studying governmental policies...

Nightz every1.

It's V day today. Everywhr in dis world (almost) .. ladies would be romanced.. wined.. dined... every cent of their worth. They'd receive chocolates.. flowers.. diamonds..some even cars & houses..

I onli had 1 box of roches. But it's better 1 den none.=) Thx to that person wif e kind heart.

Memories I realised are lived to be cherished, remembered and kept close to my heart. I'll nvr forget the first hello.. my first smile at you.. and your gentle sweetness.

It must be valentines. Why else am I speaking lyk dis? Lol..

Forever in love... with myself xD

SECRET GARDEN

She'll let you in her house
If you come knockin' late at night
She'll let you in her mouth
If the words you say are right
If you pay the price
She'll let you deep inside
But there's a secret garden she hides

She'll let you in her car
To go drivin' round
She'll let you into the parts of herself
That'll bring you down
She'll let you in her heart
If you got a hammer and a vise
But into her secret garden, don't think twice

You've gone a million miles
How far'd you get
To that place where you can't remember
And you can't forget

She'll lead you down a path
There'll be tenderness in the air
She'll let you come just far enough
So you know she's really there
She'll look at you and smile
And her eyes will say
She's got a secret garden
Where everything you want
Where everything you need
Will always stay
A million miles away

Man: I just don't know what to say..
Lady: How abt you love me, and that I am that person that you have been looking for all your life & you will nvr let me go!

That was a scene frm Keeping the faith on channel 5..

I feel that I have wasted yet another Saturday. Stayed home the entire day.. onli went out to feed my already empty tummy. Didnt eat much though.. No mood..

Hmm.. Im bored. Reali to the core man. Starting skul back on MOnday..

Zul's either snoring away right now or somewhere in the Jungle..

No idea y.. but I missed Harith today.. haha.. Maybe for the fact I haven seen him for ages too..

But the best thing that happened in the weekend is I finally resolved my issues. We had a gd talk. And it felt gd to be on gd terms.. Better to have friends than enemies they say*winks*

It feels bad to keep breaking hearts. Something I hate to do.. haiz.

Aniwae.. I saw a beautiful Coach bag.. Can I pls have that? pls pls..=) Anione?
I initially wanted to go tangs & see the doctor today.. But bcoz i slept like a pig.. No chances of that either happening..

I feel numb this days.. I don't know how to feel the fact Im starting work pretty soon.. Gonna leave skool.. Going to grow up. At least.. I hope.

Everyday I wake up.. either rushing of for skool or work.. leaving almost no time.. to reflect on my inner self...

Ive realised that Ive accomplished nothing much though Im already 20 this yr. For starters.. some pple are the owner of their own company at this age.. some pple have done mission work... while Ive been living the cushy life..I dont wanna be this way.. forever.. haiz.

I'm sorry it had to be this way.. I've my reasons too. Tho im not sure what exactly.

Mariah Carey-My all

I am thinking of you
In my sleepless solitude tonight
If it's wrong to love you
Then my heart just won't let me be right
'Cause I've drowned in you
And I won't pull through
Without you by my side

[Chorus:]
I'd give my all to have
Just one more night with you
I'd risk my life to feel
Your body next to mine
'Cause I can't go on
Living in the memory of our song
I'd give my all for your love tonight

Baby can you feel me
Imagining I'm looking in your eyes
I can see you clearly
Vividly emblazoned in my mind
And yet you're so far
Like a distant star
I'm wishing on tonight

[Chorus]

Give my all for your love
Tonight

haahah.. it's been yonks since ive said it.. but i think i do believe in love.. yes yes.. you heard me right. Not coz it happened juz now la.. but coz I watched the final episode of My lucky Charm.

Of all the things that Ive learnt from dis serial is:
1. Nvr give up..
2. Your friends can b weird, but you'll still love them..
3. Love comes in the most weirdest ways!

I especially loved dis quote:
"Though this world is so big, I'm still so lucky to have known you.."

I know it sounds cliched.. but hey! I feel it is so true=)

It's juz that I guess it may seem like the whole world could be in love, b4 you could find yours.. and often enuff it's the least xpected situation when it does.
Maybe it is juz the season for love (Valentines..)
I see hearts, flowers.. chocolates poppin out of every corner..
and the tv serials are love-themed..
And even tho I maybe stinking no gifts.. like all the yrs b4..
hopefully dis yr cud b different???
Hehehe.. Can I pls have a gift?

I realised I missed alot of pple. Maybe being too occupied with my own thoughts. Went out wif Suzi today.. Had a great laugh.. God, I missed that gerl.
I miss alot of pple...
But Im hungry now.
Aniwae, b4 I part.. I juz wanna say.. (special dedication to Nad)
Hurt & Disappointment are juz feelings that comes in life.. It's the things that makes you appreciate your happiness & contentment more... So I know dis may sound silly.. but chin up gerl. You don't nd a guy to be happy/to impress him.. A guy will come your way, if he's realli meant to be urz yeah. Of coz.. we cud both sit patiently in the mean time *winkz*

And tk care Zul.. have a safe flight..

Every time I think of you
I get a shot right through
Into a bolt of blue
It's no problem of mine
But it's a problem I find
Living the life that I can't leave behind
There's no sense in telling me
The wisdom of a fool won't set you free
But that's the way that it goes
And it's what nobody knows
And every day my confusion grows
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for the final moment
You say the words that I can't say
I feel fine and I feel good
I feel like I never should
Whenever I get this way
I just don't know what to say
Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday
I'm not sure what this could mean
I don't think you're what you seem
I do admit to myself
That if I hurt someone else
Then I'll never see just what we're meant to be
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for the final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say
Every time I see you falling
I'll get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for the final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say

Ceh! Actualli that was rather e dialogue from Mr cinderella 2. Cant blive im actualli at home, blogging away... Honestly, Im a bit worn from this past few days.. working from afternoon to morning is sure as hell tiring.

Hmmm... yest was e eve of CNY. Had a celebration in the ward.. and we were in civilian clothes.. yeah, the first that we didnt need to actualli wear uniform. hehee..
So yeah.. I wore red..=) Good luck for the new yr eh?

I think I am going to miss IMH.. knowing that Friday is already my last day.. I played musical chairs and passing parcel with the patients. It was plain good fun.. and nothing beats more than a beautiful smile from their faces=)

Den wen we were walking home.. Lyn kept on insisting that CNY is actually juz a big-scaled scam.. that always makes pple anxious & stressed.. and SHE's telling me y do they actualli nd to c'brate CNY or even eat reunion dinner when all them see each other every day!!! ahahha.. I actualli couldn't stop laughing @ that...

Had actually planned to head to the beach after work ( Ended at 1 pm..) But somehow.. having onli slept for less than 4 hrs.. that nvr did quite happen. So went to ct hall instead. Bought new slippers & new shorts. All in bright bright colours. Hopefully to brighten me up! Had great fun. It's been a long long while yeah.. I always enjoy shopping..

Oh & btw pple kept saying i look like ive gotten fatter. (or lyn rather said my breasts had gotten big! And I cant help wishing.. LOL) And I think it is true. But its gd.. coz I can afford to actualli put on some weight.. not too much of coz.

Oh & i read nadhirah's blog.. my dear gerl! You realli got me dere.. and here i was sitting @ the edge of my sit.. thinking that it realli did came through.. sekali... alamak! mimpi la.. haha

hmmm.... I was juz thinking (to myself).. it's like.. I of coz nvr know what pple want.. but when someone actualli states something. That IS what they want, isnt it? I mean. What ani1 wants would onli b in their hearts. I think he's finally learnt to develop hatred/negative feelings for me. I might be wrong of coz.. but well.. if he's happier that way.. we should all learn to be happy=) Tho I was actualli sad that he said that.

Yeah.. & den Zul & a v gd frend of mine are leaving for Thailand dis Friday..FOR 1 MONTH. I'm so gonna miss dem both.=) Hopefully they'll go thr & actualli remember to get something for me (hint hint).. tee hee...~! So dear guys.. pls tk care of yourself wen u r dere.. do nt get involved wif casual sex! hahaha.. I cant believe I said that.

So aniwae.. it's a long weekend. And I dont have much of a plan.. but it's always good to kick back & relax. And btw Zul.. your blog right? I cant see ani pix! It muz be ur linking/coding la! It's always red X's! Sheesh!

And the mama of all things i wanna say today is... Friday is my last day at work...and.. Cik abang kita sama shift la Nad! Alermakkkk... I realli hope .. you know Nad...*giggles*


Dia insan pertama yang bertahta
Dia insan pertama yang ku cinta
Dia pernah membuat ku bahagia
Dia yang mengajarku
Tentang erti rindu

Dia yang dulu pernah ku sanjungi
Pergi seingga kini tak berganti
Hilang dari pandangan hidup ini
Membawa luka pedih tak terperi

Tiada ku duga
Permulaan yang jernih
Menjadi keruh dengan tiba-tiba
Bisa rintangan antaraku dan dia
Cinta terlarang oleh orang tua

Kini terkilan sungguh rasa hati
Dia tak pernah lagi ku temui
Dia ku abadikan dalam jiwa
Terima kasih atas segalanya

Sat wee early morning.
Had a conversation wif Mr Dan.
It's been like a total of 5 yrs..and suddenly *wham & bhams* he told me..
he's been wanting to talk to me for dis v long 5 yrs after he realised what a dumbo he has been.

The thing is how can u actually self-redeem urself after what has happened? The 1st time he left me was coz he still loved Michelle. The 2nd time was bcoz he didnt love me animore.

And when he said that somehow i felt sad.. and angry and happy all at once. It's like it finally dawned on him how much I loved him. How much I cared & how he juz threw it all away...

Yes I know I once was the pimply-braces gerl. I know that compared to the other gerls in skul im not even 1/4 there.

But now that it's 5 yrs later.

Is it a little too late to talk abt love.. when now I dont even know what it is? I dont know what the hell im doing personal life wise.

I'll give u a ferst try.. coz i wanted u... the 2nd.. coz I believe in 2nd chances. But if ever thr were to be a 3rd.. personally.. I'd feel like the dumbbesst person EVER! Coz u can say e 1st heartbreak cud be accidental.. e 2nd cud b ur fault for allowing to happen AGAIN. What abt e 3rd?! Sheesh.

I'm juz upset coz I realised when pple say I break their hearts.. how careless Ive been.. do they even know what Ive been through? The sheer embarassment.. the endless tears... the self hugs and the loneliness.... the long durations that i juz needed that 1 person who cud make it all go away.. that person who had simply walked out on me.

How can ani1 say im heartless.. when im trying so hard not to break ani1's heart? both urs and mine.. I know its not the smartest way.. but I juz cant help it, can I? You fix and fixed your own heart.. every time someone casually stepped on it.. and then someone comes along and NEVER understands how difficult it is for u to actually fall in love.
And they point their fingers at you & say u broke their heart...

---- and den he breaks ur heart by saying things u try to not feel -----

When I say I have crushes. They are juz that. Today Nadhirah asked... have i been falling for every guy that comes my way.. how i wish i can say I did..

But ive built dis high wall ard me... trying to not even think abt that 1 particular option.

Sometimes Ive felt that falling in love isnt for girls like me. Girls who gets commitment phobic.. I mean how can u actually xplain what I Do? Everytime I fall in love.. I juz give and give and give.. and they juz take and take and take...

Today... Joe called me. Asked me y Im single. I hope he's reading this. For some parts of my life.. I havent found that 1 person who makes me feel safe enuff to b myself ard him.. to open every corner of my heart... to gif my heart into his hands... knowing that he'll wrap cotton wool ard it... and b xtra careful..

Knowing that he'll love me unconditionally.. eternally. I know Im being idealistic. But I juz need that 1 person who'll love me for me. Thr's no nd to justify that love.

And until I feel that kinda love.. it doesnt matter hw many guys Ive met on the LRT, hw many smart asses... hw many adorable guys nx door.. radiographers.. whatever!
I juz want that 1 person to make me feel complete.
To let me know what love is.
For him not to have any xpectations..
for him to juz love me..
Adore me.. and kiss the ground I walk on... hahaha

But honestly. Maybe im too selfish...
but it's juz me. I dont nd another broken heart..
I dont nd another slpless night..
I dont nd months of analysis.. abt his actions.. abt whr his been.
I dont nd waterfall of tears..
Singularity.
Somewhr Ive been for a long long time..
SOmewhr Im comfortable in..
A definition, by choice.. not situational...nor accidental.

Today is already Friday, marking the end of my work week! Thank GOD!
In a way.. it's a gd wrap to the hectic wk. I accomplished alot of tings altho e start wasnt that fantastic.

I was v happy. Becoz me & the gerls had a vy gd laugh wif e other 2 SNs today.. heheh. In fact.. it was so funny & nice that it was the onli day we ended work late. Normally 10 mins to go we already leave..

But it's juz that I juz kept thinking to myself.. when thr is a strong attraction to a stranger.. how do you stop yourself from being so deluded? How is it that me.. the ever so SINGULAR & down 2 earth person who is trying so hard not to plant hopes on anything can kp thinking abt HIM.

OMG I am so screwed! It's nt that I am interested.. it's juz ever since we met.. we've been talking.. and "brushed" hands too often. I talked abt him 2 someone..

Tapi org tu cakap.. kalau bangsa lain.. dah tua lebih dari 8 tahun apa lagik..

That's y Ive been so lost. I juz feel that it's weird someone asking.. Y dont wanna go hm? Scared u'll miss me arh? LOL. I didnt answer that.

He's not married.More matured. A stranger.

...but i juz love his smile and the look of his eyes.

It's been almost a week since my posting over @ IMH. It's been somewhat scary.. yet fun and in a sense, more relaxing than most postings.

It's funny that in places like this you start to think of the meaning & purpose of your life... and how far your marriage "contract" actualli withstands.

1stly.. I've realised that you maybe so successful or even come from a well to do family.. but sometimes God has his way of testing that simple pleasure of your life.. For that, Im grateful.. that I have a roof & food to eat & even though I may not be a genius.. I am still able to have insight and good judgement.

2ndly.. Ive always thought that wisdom, that comes with age will somehow filter out your romantic options out. But somehow.. that seems FAR from the case. If anithing.. you start to become too rationalised.. and even more discriminative.. perhaps due to the case that once bitten twice shy.. and too many times hurt? Can die!

I dont know whr I am. I seemed lost.. but I'm still here. Can someone pls save me?