Today... is like the 3rd day of me not doing anithing specific..
Let's juz say.. I think even tho everytime I think leaving pple behind.. and moving on with life.. is what you do everyday.. I just cant seem to get over it=)
It's as if.. graduation's over rated.
Dont get me wrong.. I love meeting new pple and graduating.. and yada yada yada.. but e thing is.. life juz nvr seems to wait... can u imagine? Soon I'll be realli wearing the green uniform! aha!
But otherwise.. life's gr8..been tutoring my cousins.. and den waking up late.. and basically having a leisurely life.. this is realli the honeymoon of my life. This is my YOUTH... I'd eternalise it..well.. at least I'll try.. hehe...
Hmmm Naseef got hospitalised e other day... I didnt visit him.. entah kenapa.. Malu? Marah? Dendam? But mainly perhaps.. its juz sadness..it's like juz coz I couldnt be with him..he let everything go. Haiz. We could have been friends.
...But den was it realli possible? Friendship between us? I had initially wanted sth more out of it.. but I guess my life was always too complicated.
I cant even remember when it started... but I guess it realli sparked of e night we were all @ the rock concert (trust me.. tat was a once of... e rock thingy). My dearest abg sedara n his frend disappeared into thin air.. and luckily thr was him?
I dont know.. but I guess we njoyed each other's company.. and conversationS. And maybe he was one of those who wasnt meant to stay... but juz to leave an impact on me.
Still today he said hi.. and asked how was I doing.. And den all e memory gates came flooding open.. & den I started reminicising... and even tho it was onli through MSN, & it happened when I was such a fresh FRESHIE... sudddenly I could remember a whole chain of events..
And I juz couldnt help wishing... juz how how how I badly wanted to see him.Just to actually realli believe everything was ok. Juz to know he wasnt holding any grudges against me..
Was it a gd thing he graduated b4 me?(wth.. he IS my senior....)
I just want us to be on good terms with each other. Asking for more is definitely out of the question.
But perhaps if once he saw the sparkle in my eyes.. and the warmth in my smile.. there is onli coldness in my company now...
The thing is... I'd hate it.. if anione slammed the phone on me (pantang nenek datuk moyang).. and pretended like we were strangers when we were once closer than friends.. I hated all this mind games.. I hate mind games.. and treating each other callously.
But we're all human afterall.
What would life be, if it werent stained by the silly mistakes we make?
{the riddle of red}
