I juz finished my 3rd night, when my senior supervisor came. We had dis like mini meeting session at the corridor (private issue) over some important matters. I was quite surprised to realise that we werent gonna get any of e blame even tho that was v much quite e culture at times.

You see, abt exactly a yr ago, I used to b disturbed by the fact that my supervisor then liked to picked on me n point out my mistakes, or so I thought. Everything I did was wrong. And nothing was even satisfactory. It is deeply hurting and I guess being young & fresh outta skool didnt help.

1 of my Aunt's said something along the lines: "Alah Ainie, Awak tgg nx yr bila awak dah tk junior lagik.. nanti dia pick on freshies pulak".

Simply translated: Ainie U juz wait till nx when u r less junior, then she'll pick on the freshies.

Back then, those words had little comfort coz I was still going home late & crying when I did reach home. Every day was tiring. And every thought I had was abt work (It still is abt work NOW). I actualli cudnt stand the idea of going to work. It didnt help that my seniors loved to pass very untactful comments.

It was pretty much expected when she blamed e new girl over the issue we were discussing. I simply felt quite sympathetic and much empathy for her. Coz we all have been thr. We have been the greenhorn once. And the butt of the very unfunny jokes that our subordinates & superiors have made.

Of coz, now that I am considered senior & that they listen to me & even my superiors value my opinion, things are very much different. I guess it is true when they say that respect must be earned, and I have worked tremendously hard for mine.

On another note.. I was reading something lately. And someone is leaving the country for a while. And I cant help wondering y that someone nvr mentioned anything to me abt leaving. Sometimes, I cant but help feel a tiny bit enivous of the things taht person said. Coz, as much as I hate to admit this, but I guess e green eyed monster is still hiding beneath my deep brown eyes...

I felt so impossibly tired..
So drained, beyond description.
I could feel all the aches in my muscles.
And the empty dull aching in my heart.
No.
This isnt a heartbreak.
THIS. is me. BURNT OUT.

Im tired of working after returning from my 4 days leave.
In fact, Im always tired after days off.
I dont feel rested.
I just feel overworked.

How ironic.

Today is a weekend.
Yet, it seemed not much different from any other day in the week.
I went to work with 3H of slp.
Walked ard feeling like thr's a block of weight over my shoulder.
I showered at work today.
Went to my cousin's wedding in GEYLANG.
And den went to watch fireworks at Mount Faber
I had one of the most beautiful memories thr.
And I created another 1 today with my family.

I'm sure that all of us has ever fallen for someone.
So afraid to love someone @ the start.
And so afraid to lose that person after u loved him/her.
Like maybe the way I miss Suzi.
How. At times I wondered, how it'll be. Our friendship once she settles down.
And priorities changed.

I am afraid to lose the pple I love, but it is only natural that circumstances change. And they say you dont have to stop loving the person, as long as you can accept the change.