It seems like dis days my feelings are ever so fluctuating. Makes it seems like Im suffering from bipolar.
Today I m much more calmer. U know I have this belief that how u feel have a thing or to 2 to do with ur surrounding. Today I washed 1/2 of my laundry which I have been putting off since forever. Folded the new clothes that I have bought which had been sitting in the shopping bags for months..Vacuumed the dust which may have given birth to various sorts of bugs and not to mention even scrubbed the loo! Man. I am productive! haha.. No, not in THAT sense.
So now that the room is cleaner, the house is cleaner, things are sparkling.. I feel a lil at ease too. Sure thr's alot of unwarranted thoughts that has ALWAYS been looming in my head. It's things like what I wud have done differently.
Im talking abt friendships here. I dont know. It's like some pple have this opinion that I dont seem to put in sufficient effort in2 friendships. Dont make enuff effort to c, talk, txt dem often enuff. And sadly, I cud nt disagree. But that doesnt mean I didnt care. The TCC talk at bugis was true.. It's juz u know. Things happened. And alot of what I am saying here wudnt justify my actions, but what I am saying is that.. If I cud, I wudnt want to lose any of my friends. I wudnt want to gif them up. I'd wanna try again. I miss all of them so much.
Mayb it's to do with alot of deaths. U know. Death has a way of making u re-evaluate the life u r having.
I dont know. Thr still pple angry wif me, disappointed.. and a whole lot of other words. But what I am saying is.. Please let us all try again. Life is too short to be throwing beautiful things that ezily. We build our f/ships over time. Dont let anithing let them falter..coz Im still that person who still harbours her insecurities beneath the cool n calm xterior.
{the riddle of red}
