Everday, I try to keep myself bz becoz.. idle hands are the weapons of the devil? haha.
I even listen to other pple's relationship problems, heart break dramas.. maybe bcoz I juz dont wana tire everyone of relating my own.
I think most importantly what I wanna tell the pple who are on the verge of giving up on their relationship, was that it started out promising.
Every relationship, no matter how it soured, started potentially. No one would embark on a relationship, hoping that it would fail (Unless u r a dipshit den .. maybe that is different).
So the fact is that while you whine and groan why did ur relationship, turn out the way it did, I think it would probably help to remember in the first place why you did fall in love with each other.
It is ez to highlight the flaws of your partner, once the relationship has reached a plateau. And more than ever, it is ez to forget the good points of ur partner, when you see the positivity in others.
You know, just like everyone, I fell in love but along the way, I became complacent because there were conflicting priorities. And it was ez to think that the person you loved most would stay ard regardless of what happened. Guess, I went wrong there.
I'd like to think my relationship with "him" is an expensive lesson to learn. It hasn't been ez.. pple say, time will heal all wounds.. But I wonder just how much I have.
Especially when we see what we wish to ignore and learn what we wish to disregard, it just stays in your face. And when it can't show you in ur state of acute consciousness, it goes in your subconscious. It starts appearing in your dreams. And what was probably meant to be dreams (when you were once together) are now your daily dose of nightmare.
Sometimes when pple say that "you'll forget everything with time"... I kinda get confused and wonder if that was at all necessary.
Sure, the ending was definitely not a bed of roses. I am living to that testament. But. I'd like to think that the person I was in love with for a long time, isn't someone I'd wanna chuck into the recycling memory bin. My memories, are my own. And I'd love to remember them.
Surely, there were his own reasons why he does not want this anymore. And though I no longer want to convince him that I would do everything to make it work, I still think he's the person I once loved or probly still do. And I do not want anyone, including myself to spend any more time analyzing what went wrong.. which is why when pple ask what happened, I'll just say it didn't work out. It isn't rocket science you know.. pple love each other and stil end up apart.
Such is life.
I guess the hardest part was respecting his decision, becoz eventually, if I loved him, I knew I had to. And almost 2 months had passed since we've been apart. And pple say I've been looking better.. but I guess pple say that bcoz they expect us to wallow in self pity and depression.
But honestly, I have my friends to thank for making me look "normal".. hahah I m sure they wouldnt wanna walk ard wif a zombie with panda rimmed eyes and unkempt hair! Oh the un-glamness of it all!
:)
So.. basically, for those experiencing turbulence in ur relationship, I hope you all would remember that the person you are with was the person you were once so eager to be with. And once upon a time, not too long ago, you were actually excited to see her and hear her voice and smell her.
And everything that reminds you of her, made you smile..
And you dream of kissing her soft kissable lips.
And now that you are actually there, and though it's no longer as fun as it used to be, she is still the same person.
So, before you actually dive head down, recall.. and maybe do the things that you guys did during courtship. It'l help, hopefully.
Ok.. so depressing topic aside, come come.. look at my conference pix! haha.
Us
My presentation.. hehe
And a video.. sorry it's depressing pple heheh
To quote tuesday's with morrie "You either love, or you die".
p/s: Sometimes I read my past entries, and I get reminded of my best moments. The times we had endless things to talk abt, times when I get to listen to him breathing, and smell him..The running in the rain when it poured @ Palawan.. haha. everything la..
And it hits me, that I am here.