We were in Swensens when I was texting my Mom n JK asked.. "Is that ur new suitor?" And that's when it hits me that OMG, pple were expecting me to date. And it was reiterated again when KY asked me while I was juz standing ard.. "When r u dating again?"
I did not realise that pple were expecting me to stop my grieving.. or hold on any longer. I guess.. they are warranted to expect that, but then.. how do u do it? I guess as friends thr's only so many times that they can go out with me.. and there'll be days even e singles in my grp expecting me to go out on a hot date. But how to even have a hot date, when thr's no date to begin with? haha.
I have became a girl, that a great day means a good working day, getting housework done, watching TV and curling up early in bed. I guess situations does precipitate changes, welcomed or otherwise.
I mean really.. how many days have pple called up on me .. to make sure.. I'm ok, that I have not backslided, gone insane or became suicidal. It was not ez, keeping my faith and believing in myself, because believe me.. I had challenged so much of my principles that I kinda get so jaded.
God only knows how tired I am of getting to know all about someone new. To make that effort to dress up, look and smell good.. I guess that is why when they go out with me, and I look good.. JK had to say "I love ur make up today.. it looks great" or "you're v pretty today".. hahaha. Sometimes, I think my guy frends are saying that to encourage me to pls pick up my slack.
I guess.. they are just concerned that I have gotten too comfortable being in my nest that I dont wanna get out and be someone, they used to know.
I'm trying hard to be the strong person everyone thinks I am. It's just that perhaps, when it comes to emotions.. strong is not an adjective that is the yardstick to measure me.
{the riddle of red}
