According to the blog stat, the last I posted was on e 5/5/09..which makes my post today more than a yr later. And for good reason too.
I think in maintaining a blog, one has to decide the level of privacy the blog dictates. As for me, I stil want some of that privacy even though some may argue that what kind of privacy are there when your thoughts are penned on the internet.
The significance of the date today is related to the fact that my long term ex bf is finally married. With that being said, the term EX should reflect that he belongs rightfully in my past. However, being a woman, I do let things get the better of me at times and somehow his marriage today has affected me more than I would care to admit.
I am 25 this year, and to most people now, age are just barely numbers. However, for some reason I cannot fathom, the fact that he is now married has now made me feel so horrible today. Why you may ask .. well.. let's see:
1. I am 25 and his wife is younger than me and she is already married!
2. Does not help that my OWN friend thinks I'm a spinster (not that it is so fantastic that he is a cheating asshole himself!).
3. I am at that point of time where most if not all of my friends are already engaged/married.
4. I guess I still worry if what I will have will be better than what I shared with him.
5. He's a great guy therefore there is always the trouble of measuring against the yardstick.
Truthfully, I am worried for much deeper reasons than those but I am trying to get a hold of myself and not let my mind go into overdrive.
Let's just pray that since he is happy now, maybe I would then benefit from it too.
{the riddle of red}
