You know often enough, we'd all like to think that beauty is only skin deep. And that's the whole entire problem when you wake up on a Friday morning to realise that ****, goddamnit! I have rashes on my face!!!!

I go into full beauty emergency fix.. except that I couldnt seem to find e "Zinc" cream that I bought e prev time I went to Tioman and got nearly e exact same thing!

Of course I still had to go to work despite looking like a patient myself.. When I reached work, everyone asked me what happened. and I guess.. being a nurse, I am not exactly supposed 2 have an allergic reaction to a hospital environment.. but maybe it's a different hospital.. so maybe im allergic to something different. The MO of coz told me to go and see someone after work, which I did and it was confirmed that I was really having a reaction!

I was prescribed with oral and topical antibiotics, steroids (and I thought never in my life will I be put on steroids) and .. some anti histamines for the itching and the redness and swelling.

So even though Mimi was offering me free movie tix, I was advised to rest at home... and keep my face away from dirty places.. (Hosp are not free frm bugs, we all know that)..

So yeah, a great start for a weekend.

We were in Swensens when I was texting my Mom n JK asked.. "Is that ur new suitor?" And that's when it hits me that OMG, pple were expecting me to date. And it was reiterated again when KY asked me while I was juz standing ard.. "When r u dating again?"

I did not realise that pple were expecting me to stop my grieving.. or hold on any longer. I guess.. they are warranted to expect that, but then.. how do u do it? I guess as friends thr's only so many times that they can go out with me.. and there'll be days even e singles in my grp expecting me to go out on a hot date. But how to even have a hot date, when thr's no date to begin with? haha.

I have became a girl, that a great day means a good working day, getting housework done, watching TV and curling up early in bed. I guess situations does precipitate changes, welcomed or otherwise.

I mean really.. how many days have pple called up on me .. to make sure.. I'm ok, that I have not backslided, gone insane or became suicidal. It was not ez, keeping my faith and believing in myself, because believe me.. I had challenged so much of my principles that I kinda get so jaded.

God only knows how tired I am of getting to know all about someone new. To make that effort to dress up, look and smell good.. I guess that is why when they go out with me, and I look good.. JK had to say "I love ur make up today.. it looks great" or "you're v pretty today".. hahaha. Sometimes, I think my guy frends are saying that to encourage me to pls pick up my slack.

I guess.. they are just concerned that I have gotten too comfortable being in my nest that I dont wanna get out and be someone, they used to know.

I'm trying hard to be the strong person everyone thinks I am. It's just that perhaps, when it comes to emotions.. strong is not an adjective that is the yardstick to measure me.

So..
the week had been so super bz.. and oh so tiring..
BUT before I go any further.. lemme present a preview of e phuket trip! hahaa..
Phuket is the kind of place you go, not to relax I suppose. It's quite bz.. but of coz, with regards to SG, HKT's pace of life is not that fast..
Everyday is the sun, sea, food and slp! Haha.. Lesser worries I suppose.
But you know, it is a small city too.. very modern la.. pubs, malls, restaurants littered along the pathways.. it could be compared to Bali, apparently.

One of those places littered with tourists.. ang moh's in particular..but, of course.. the andaman sea.. is nature in it's splendour. One can't deny that. It's the kind of place that you visit, that you feel you don't wanna leave.. but you know.. I guess, like they always say.. you can take the girl out of the city, but you can't take the city out of the girl. Because, eventually.. I guess we miss home still.

Us.. finally at T3 after months of planning to go


And.. for e 1st time since I 1st set foot on an airplane.. my flight was delayed a gd 3 hrs lor! And we werent even travelling budget!
So.. walk and walk and walked in the duty free..


And sat.. (looking like we are waiting for our turn @ e hairstylists)


and finally..


Reached HKT to lie on


for a trip to ko phi phi!


in the andaman


not enough? Let's soak in e pool!




and.. watching e sunset..


a pic of all of us.. at e cliff






I'll upload more when I have e time la..

BTW, H,.. get ur facts right before you tell me to take leave!Hehe! =D

p/s: One sleepless night in HKT, while I was channel surfing.. I listened to this..Hoping Leona Lewis is right..

THE THREES

Name 3 schools u went to
Qifa Primary
Shuqun Secondary
Nanyang polytechnic

Name 3 things in ur purse/backpack/bag
Phone
Digicam
Lip gloss

Name 3 things u do when u're really stressed
Cry
Talk abt it
Listen to songs

Name 3 places u go on a daily basis
NYP
Plaza
LRT

Name 3 favourite fruits
Mango
Watermelon
Longan

3 names u go by
Siti
Kat
Ainie

3 of ur favourite foods
Laksa
Chicken rice
Lemak ayam cili padi

3 things u're wearing right now
Spectacles
La senza's slip dress
Panties? hahahaha

THE WHOS

Who's in the house with u?
mom


Who (or what) r u thinking about right now?
Dreading tomo.
Shit.. I haven read the briefing paper.
I muz be mad..

Who do u sit next to in your class?
Christy, joyce or sue. Depending on the day.

Who was the last person u told u loved?
Him.

Who do wish u were right now?
I just wished to be someone who's wiser.

Who gets on ur nerves the most at school?
our "sister"

THE WHERES

Where do u live?
The lion/garden city.

Where is ur phone?
By my side.

Where do u sleep?
On my bed, In e room.

Where is the last place u took a ride to?
To home.

Where are u now?
In the kitchen

THE WHAT(S)

What was the last thing u ate?
Chicken rice.. hahaha

What colour shirt r u wearing?
Pink

What is the closest item near u that is blue?
A shoe box.

What do u like best about school?
Friends

What is ur favourite colour?
Pink
White
Yellow

What do u wear more: jeans or shorts?
Jeans

What is the last movie that u watched?
Iron man


THE WHENS

When did u start school?
1992

When is ur birthday?
April

When did u last go to the mall?
Yesterday

When was the last time u bought a pair of pants?
Can't recall.

When did u last burn something?
When I was 16 or 17.

Next victim : you

Evidently, deadlines just never does end.
I thought that the end of my exams, marks the end of my long suffering with my love-hate relationship with the endless readings..
But nooooo.....
I have more thesis n assignments to write. Why am I being blessed like this? Argh.

In a way, I have always felt grateful for the motherload of assignments. It gives me no time to ponder ( You all do know what about. so no need to get thr.. )

So to celebrate my amounting work, I got my pins waxed.. anndd they are oh so smooth! *BEAMS* Seriously.. anyone who needs to remove hair on their body should try waxing.. the pain is comparatively to that of eyebrow threading lor.. so not THAT unbearable la.. And being hairless all over.. the feeling is.. "light?" And the pain is juz a once off thing lor.. the moment it's over, it's over. I mean.. I should know all about pain you know. So you should give me that ;)

<3

Everyday when I complain abt my day here.. thr's someone who has always seen e outcome of my day, even without me verbalizing it. That person is someone I call Mom.

Most of us are lucky we have that person in our life.. as she is often the person who has provided us with our most basic needs, and much complex desires in later adolescence.

She's been thr to feed us, clothed us, cleaned us.. and listened to our unsaid emotions and celebrated our joys. At times, I know even though my Mom doesnt say it, I know that if she could, she would protect me from all the hurt the world has caused me.. It is remarkable, the significant sacrifices Mothers make for their children.. bcoz, I know it is not just my mom.. but Moms in general..

So it is only right that Mothers' day is not just celebrated yesterday, but treated as an everyday occassion.

And.. another event that occurred yesterday was.. Man U's victory to remain at the top of the table.. (Smirk).. Yeah yeah.. so what..U all boleh blah la.. hehe.. jgn nk action ok?

OK.. general events aside..

I wanna congratulate 3 v lucky pple in life.. Miss Z, CA for getting pregnant! Hope ur pregnancies wud be a happy and safe process.. insyallah.. and to IF, congratulations on finally settling down.. Insyallah, I will attend the engagement.

Sadly, not everyone is blessed with getting what they want.. I'm sorry to CT that he is migrating to NZ.

Sometimes, even though we have found what we are looking for, it is indeed beyond our powers to control it's outcome. So I know that it is a trying time.. and that probly time is running out for you both.. But I guess, just have faith in yourself la. Afterall, like I said prior to these, change is the only constant in life.

The morning started off with me, being shockingly awaken thinking I was late for my appt.. U see, I have not been to my beautician in a lonnnnnggggg time. And judging from the crap I've been dealing with, I thought it was a good idea. And lucky me, managed to squeeze a Saturday afternoon appt tho calling on a Wednesday. Thank God!

So yeah the initial plan was to to go to Taka to buy my powder and den go for my facial.. but CN told me that she was accompanyin F to the hospital. Apparently F had bronchitis and had to go to NUH! Tsk tsk. What a way to be spending her saturday. haha. But we did meet up, after that.. after leaving my facial for what seemed like eternity... I really don't know between a session at the aesthetician, dentist, waxer (cant call dem stripper right?) .. which is actually worst?

Coz I've been to the dentist.. but the visits are only half yearly.. So the pain during the scaling I guess comparatively wouldn't be as bad as going to the aesthetician which I TRY to go to once a month. The pain that I have to tahan for the 3 hrs I tell u.. sometimes makes me question my pleasure of being a woman.. I mean seriously.. U go there, get your eyebrows threaded den the extraction!!! Sheer horror! But.. U know, all's well at the end of the journey. Haha. Not to mention, who doesn't enjoy massages?

But I guess I'm not exactly the right person (yet?) to ask abt waxing, be it brazilian, legs, arm, body.. Ive never been stripped! Haha.. Had the intention to.. but my pain's threshold isn't exactly fantastic, hence the apparent hesitancy.

The rest of the day went on uneventfully.. I even bagged some free goodies, courtesy of CN! hehe!! :P

I guess it was a relatively a nice Saturday.. EXCEPT (hehe) that I didn't study.. and today is exactly 2 months post "him."

I do wonder at times.. will I wake up 1 day, and stop measuring time or even anything at all through him? Will thr be that 1 day, when I guess, that he won't be a yardstick, or a benchmark, in my life? That my life will be my life again.. only mine?

I guess the answer will be no.. It's like.. yes, we all try to head on our own lives.. breath.. eat.. drink.. slp.. walk.. talk.. but when will all of these stop being "automated?"

Is it all too much to ask for?

"Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
It's no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gonna be without me
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe
It's no air, no air

But somehow I'm still alive inside
You took my breath, but I survived
I don't know how, but I don't even care

So how do you expect me
to live alone with just me
'Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe"

So.. I'm finally relieved of the burden of sitting for my management paper.. which has been of great weight on my tiny shoulders of late. It has been the reason of my sleepless and stay in nights and now it's finally done!

Yes.. I can stop reading the management books.. but my days staying in the library have yet to be over. I will resume that back again tomorrow onwards.. sounding like a true blue student huh.. but I guess, that's the price you pay when you've been so caught up in your own life; that academically now you juz have to push yourself harder.

And.. I got my results for my acute care postings and I'll be going to the place I've wanted to.. though I've heard the management there are less than friendly and... the staff are just as terrible.. what great things huh to look forward to?
Oh well, we all have to learn to suck it up.. afterall, it's not like we are ever gonnna see them again after that.

On a brighter note.. at least, I have given myself some days off from studying and watching grey's anatomy 4th installation! And, not to mention.. when we're bz slogging our asses of for our exams, SGH is bz preparing for what else.. JCI. So, yeah.. twice lucky girls.

It's just so fast la how time flies.. we are almost done with our academic portion of the advance dip and now we're left with the clinicals. And after that, we are all back to our organization and what will be left are just memories, before we eventually decide which bachelor from which uni we actually wanna undertake.

I guess the only constant thing in life is just change. Nothing else is as certain.

And a remembrance to what defined me then:

Musical chairs..


Sister's girls


Colleagues


And while we were still wearing green...






The white board that I always clean but still ends up the same


And even my locker keys


But.. Meredith Grey says it best:

"Change: we don’t like it; fear it. But we can’t stop it from coming. We either adapt to change, or.. we get left behind. It hurts to grow. Anybody who tells u it doesn’t, is lying. But here’s the truth.
Sometimes, the more things change, the more it stays the same.
And, sometimes, change is good..
Sometimes change is everything."